To Whom It May Concern:
It has come to our attention that you are currently selling the Haile Sand Fort, an abandoned sea fort off the coast of England.
It is most fortuitous that we came across your listing as we have been searching for something very specific, and we believe this property might be it. That said, we have some questions that we would appreciate your response to. Firstly, we intent to install a commercial scale sound system on the Sea Fort. What kind of electricity does it run on? Secondly, as you may be aware Stefan has to have a daily feeding of candy, so how far is it from the coast via a fast speed boat? Finally, how quickly will our micronation be formally recognized by the United Nations, is that something you can help us with?
For rather a longtime we have been looking for a location to set up our own nation, away from the serious rules of the rest of the world and one where, amongst other things, Happy Violence is legal. Having withstood aircraft and submarine attacks during both WWI and WWII, the sea fort represents the strength and resolve of our great nation.
In this property, we believe we have found our nirvana, our Dada Land!
We look forward to your prompt reply.
The Presidents of Dada Land